6) Repenting of Contempt:
Post 6 of 6 on my list of reforms in honor of the 500th anniversary of the protestant reformation. The first word is repenting of Christendom, which is a reformation of power. The second word is repenting of Capitalism, which is a reformation of trust. The third word is repenting of Consumerism, which is a reformation of identity. The fourth word is repenting of Certainty, which is a reformation of authority. The fifth word is repenting of Clannish Self-Protection, which is a reformation of tribe. Today’s last and final word is repenting of Contempt, which is a reformation of the heart.
The number one predictor of a marriage that will end in divorce is contempt. This is the finding of preeminent marriage researcher, Dr. John Gottman, and author of “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”.
“You make me so angry” is a normal ingredient in healthy relationships. Whereas, “You disgust me,” is a game changer and more often than not, the game ender.
A few years ago there was this show called “Lie to Me”. The lead actor, Tim Roth, played this investigator who could solve cases based on people’s facial expressions. If he saw someone display the face of contempt, a disgusted face. He would say in an endearing British accent, “Now that is the face of a killer.”
Contempt is a hierarchical emotion. It corresponds to a belief that I am superior to you. I am better than you. You are beneath me. When you feel contempt you want to spit. You roll your eyes. You mutter sounds of disgust under your breath and dismissively shake your head. Contempt is a dehumanizing emotion that takes root in the heart and begins to find expression in dehumanizing actions.
In a 1992 speech, Leon Mugesera, a senior politician in Rwanda’s Hutu ruling party, called the Tutsi minority “cockroaches”. This language of contempt became actualized in the Rwandan genocide of 1994. Nazi propaganda regularly associated the Jews with disease-spreading rats. Cockroaches and rats are disgusting pests, just like these out-group members. Call the exterminator.
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” Jesus, Matthew 5:21-22
Jesus is diagnosing what lies underneath murder.
There is a progression.
1) “You make me angry,” becomes…
2) “You disgust me.” (“Raca” is the sound of clearing your throat to spit.) Becomes…
3) You’re dead to me. “You fool” is a dismissal of a person’s standing as a human being. You aren’t even worth interacting with as a person. You have become an object of disdain. It is giving the finger to “the idiot” who just cut you off in traffic. They cease to be a human being in that moment. You are superior to them. They are objectified and disposable.
Jesus is giving this warning: If you allow anger to foster into contempt...you are on the road to hell. You have already murdered someone in your heart and this inner violence will get worked out into actual violence.
In my heart, “you are a cockroach”,
becomes “you are a cockroach” in my speech,
becomes “you are a cockroach” at the end of my machete.
Hell that festers in your heart produces a living hell on earth. It is how genocides happen and continue to happen.
Contempt will only produce hell.
Contempt cannot bring heaven.
Our culture is a caldron of contempt. We have contempt for politicians, we get contempt from our politicians, we have contempt for the right, we have contempt for the left. Here contempt, there contempt, everywhere contempt, contempt.
Yes, there is so much wrong with the world…but the wrongs will not be made right with our contempt. We, even with the best of motives, will only further the hell with our contempt. It is fighting hellfire with fire.
There is one time. One time, that the gospels say Jesus was angry. The religious leaders try to trap Jesus into breaking the Sabbath laws by planting a disabled man in the audience. This is the story recorded in Mark 3:4-6
“Then Jesus asked them, ‘Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?” But they remained silent.
He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, 'Stretch out your hand.' He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored. Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus.”
“He looked around at them in anger.” I can relate to that.
“Deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts.” I can relate to that. “‘Stretch out your hand.’ He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored.” Ok, it starts to break down a bit for me at this point in the story.
But here is what I am reflecting on. Just like Jesus, I am angry and deeply distressed over many of the religious and political leaders I see. But my next step, unlike Jesus, is to move into contempt. I try to resolve my anger and distress with contempt.
I think contempt emerges from a powerless belief. There is nothing I can do except kill them in my heart. My contempt will really show them something new. I will shame them into change. Let’s call each other names until things get better. Powerless.
In contrast, Jesus flips the script. He takes his anger and distress and heals a man on the margins. His anger is creative. His distress is powerful. He refuses to allow his anger to produce seeds of contempt. He refuses to be trapped in an illusion of powerlessness. He directs his anger into healing. His distress brings heaven rather than hell.
I believe all of us have this same capacity to flip the script. To take our distress and transform it with healing acts of love. We all can bring beauty where there is currently only ash. We are not powerless. You are not powerless. I am not powerless. We can flip the script.
May our very first act of resistance each day be to refuse to participate in the cycle of contempt. May our resolution be to become activists of and for healing. May our anger and distress bring heaven rather than add to the hell.
For my final call of reform, on this 500th anniversary of protest, I am repenting of contempt. I am resolved to become an activist for healing and restorative justice.
Join me.
Grace and peace everyone,
David
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